Shifter Fever Complete Series (Books 1-5) Page 51

  “And the other shifters?” Griff barely recognized his own voice.

  “The hare and the panther are gone, too. They both went back to her family’s house. His family is dead.” It felt callous to say it so cavalierly, but it was so often the case with shifters. It was genetic, and Herta was designed to lure them. So even the ones who survived did so without their families, usually. “I think they were kind of in love by the time they left here. You know how teenagers are.”

  Kain’s tone was light, almost dismissive of teenage love. But Griff would never make light of it. The love he’d had as a teenager was as true and strong as he’d ever known. He would have made a life with her, committed to her, taken care of her, died for her.

  And now all that was gone.

  “The fox is still here, though. And she’s still a fox. She hasn’t shifted back to human form either.”

  That was strange. Most shifters shifted back to human form within a few days of getting rescued back to Earth. And they knew that the fox could shift.

  In fact, just a minute after they’d rescued her to Earth, she’d shifted to her human form and pretty much resurrected Kain. But the minute it became clear that he’d survive, she’d gone back to fox form and hadn’t shifted again since.

  She also wasn’t leaving. Very strange.

  A silence stretched out between them.

  “Dude. Come on. What happened? You look like you’re dying. If something is wrong, you have to let me in on it.”

  Griff didn’t want to cause his family pain, and Kain looked extremely worried. But he really couldn’t talk about it. He just really couldn’t.

  Ruby, Ansel, Milla, and John Alec had been there. In Herta, they’d rescued him. Dragged him from the square where he’d been chained and beaten. They’d been shocked when he’d fought to stay, to get back to Alayna. But she’d been too heavily guarded. And Griff had known that to stay would have been to die. They knew that he hadn’t wanted to leave without Alayna. But he’d never spoken with them about it since, except for John Alec, and he didn’t know if they’d all connected the dots or not.

  John Alec had talked with Griff about Alayna a few times over the years. But only from a tactical perspective. How to rescue her.

  Griff hadn’t told Kain about the love of his life. He hadn’t even told Ruby about Alayna. And Ruby had hacked through another world to rescue him. To bring him home.

  But he’d held his love for Alayna deep in his chest. He’d held it close and secret for all these years. He’d never let it out of its cage. And now it would die there, in his chest, whenever he took his last breath.

  ***

  It was the next morning when the door to his bedroom kicked open and Griff jumped awake.

  “Alright. That’s enough.”

  He barely had the energy to groan, but the reflex was there. How many times in his life had his sister dragged him out of bed when all he’d wanted to do was sleep?

  “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, Griff Sayers, but you’re getting the hell out of this bed, you’re getting in the shower and then you’re getting your ass back to my house and explaining your behavior to everyone.”

  She grabbed his ear and had him hissing as she yanked him out of bed and tossed him straight into the shower, boxers and all. She turned it on and marched to the bathroom door. “Out in five. Don’t make me come back in here.”

  Griff had to let out a harsh little chuckle. His first in over a week. Leave it to his sister for the tough love.

  She’d raised him from when he was eight years old. And she was a good mom. She dragged him out of hell, gave him his life back. And if she knew what he was really going through, he knew she’d never be treating him this roughly. But she didn’t know, because he’d never told her.

  It was time. Griff admitted this to himself as he cursorily pushed himself through the motions of the shower. It was time to tell the family. He didn’t expect to find relief from his grief, but he knew he was the only one who could release them from their worry about him.

  An hour later he sat in Ansel and Ruby’s living room and his entire family was there. Kain and Valentina, Milla and John Alec, even Matt and Inka, with Carmen and Mateo in tow, sat on the couch. Ansel and Ruby sat on either side of Griff.

  “I want to start with an apology.” Griff made himself look his family in the eye. He absently traced his hand over the tattoo that covered the length of his arm. “I wouldn’t have made you all worry about me like that for nothing. I know how much you care about me. Because it’s as much as I care about all of you.”

  He dropped his head for a second and just made himself do it. “When I was imprisoned in Herta, I fell in love with a girl. Her name—” He broke off and raised his head. “Her name was Alayna. She was the daughter of the Emperor. She saved my life while I was there. I promised her I would go back. Get her. But I couldn’t. You all know what happens to me when I go into Herta. It’s like an allergic reaction or something. And I couldn’t bring myself to send one of you into all that danger. So I waited. Hoping I’d be able to work on my reaction to Herta. But then that shifter we rescued last week, she told us that the Emperor and his family… were dead. And I lost it.”

  He was only aware of Ruby squeezing the hell out of his hand, and with his refined shifter senses, he could smell tears in the room. He could smell the dismay and the grief of the others in the room.

  Ansel’s arm came around his shoulders and Ruby pressed her forehead into his arm. “Griff, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  He looked up and he saw the sympathy in all of their faces. He also saw understanding. Now they all understood why he’d never been the same after Herta. Why he didn’t socialize. Why he kept to himself.

  “We don’t know for certain,” Valentina spoke up, looking around. “All we know is what one shifter told us. I’ll go back to Herta. I’ll find out what really happened. We know that a whole section has burned, but we don’t actually know much else. It won’t take me more than a month. And I’ll be back with more information, Griff.”

  “I’ll go, too,” John Alec spoke up immediately. Griff was overwhelmed by their instant support. He wasn’t sure what to say.

  “I need to shift.” He was going to come out of his skin if he didn’t.

  “Alright,” Ansel, Kain, and Milla all rose up. Inka handed the baby over to Ruby.

  “You know?” she stretched. “I could actually use a romp right now.”

  He looked around at them. Of course his bear shifter family was coming with him. Of course they wouldn’t let him do this alone.

  ***

  It was a week later when Griff was in the woods alone again. He’d been shifted more often than not and a member of the family had been with him every step of the way. He was grateful for it. But he was also grateful for a little time alone with his crazy. He knew he was losing it.

  Alayna had been coming to him in his dreams. Perfectly strawberry gold and making those kissy faces at him when she wanted to get good and made love to. He wasn’t sleeping well. And when he woke, he saw her, too. Just a glimpse of her sitting on his lap. Her arms around him. Alayna laughing that gusty, hot laugh of hers. That mane of hair everywhere.

  Now, Griff sat alone and thought about her. Just let himself think about her. The trees were dappled in sunlight; they were that deep, late summer green right before they gave up and burst into electric autumn colors. Strawberry gold. He thought of Alayna’s hair and gripped the tattoo on his arm. Pain stabbed him.

  He looked up when he heard the approaching footsteps of two men. John Alec and Kain, come to find him. They hauled him to his feet.

  “It’s time for dinner, your sister says,” Kain said. He wanted to give Griff as much time as he needed but he knew that Ruby was right. They needed to keep him occupied. The three of them hopped down off the outcropping and started following the creek upstream toward Ansel’s house. It widened ahead of them and created a little swimming hole. On a different day, w
hen Griff had been a different man, they might have stopped for a swim. Today, the three of them trudged quietly alongside one another.

  “Have you considered it more? Sending Valentina and me back to Herta to search for her?” John Alec had to break the thick, devastating silence. His friend was in so much pain he would have done anything to alleviate it.

  Griff brushed his hand over his eyes as he looked ahead of them. “I’m not thinking clearly. I can’t ask you to do something that dangerous when I’m not thinking clearly.”

  Like now, even now, Griff looked up and saw Alayna. The hallucinations were getting stronger. She was gorgeously wet, dripping, in the creek forty feet in front of them. Water dappled off the ends of her long hair, as she washed one arm and then the next.

  It was so real to him that his mouth went dry. He was losing his mind.

  “Oh,” Kain said from beside Griff. “The fox finally shifted.”

  Alec looked up, too. “Oh yeah? Wow. She’s beautiful.”

  The two of them looked behind them when they realized Griff had stopped walking.

  “What?” His voice was so raw, so pained, that Kain shot an alarmed look over to John Alec. “What did you just say?”

  “I was just pointing out the woman. That’s the fox shifter who healed me two weeks ago. Looks like she finally shifted to her human form.”

  “You can see that woman.”

  John Alec and Kain exchanged very confused looks. Griff looked like he was about to tear his hair out with one hand.

  “Yes. Of course.”

  Griff almost knocked them to the ground as he sprinted past them. He ran along the creekside and then splashed into the water to get to her. The water was up to her calves where she stood and Griff fell to his knees at her feet.

  CHAPTER TWO

  The fox sipped from the cool stream up the mountain from where she was staying. She still couldn’t believe she was on Earth.

  And she really, really couldn’t believe she’d found Griff.

  He’d been there for her first day, had held her fox form in his arms, had even tried to coax her to shift. But she’d been too shocked to shift. And too scared to see what would be in his eyes when she did. He hadn’t known it was her, obviously. He didn’t know she was a fox, didn’t know she could shift, didn’t know any of it.

  Sometimes it seemed like they’d known one another in a completely different life.

  So she hadn’t shifted. And then, just a few hours later, he’d come scrambling out of the house, fallen to his knees like he was dying. She’d watched as he’d shifted into a hawk and then was gone. For a week. He’d left his family behind.

  Just like he left you.

  The thought was bitter and toxic and she was sick of having it. It wasn’t Griff’s fault. He’d had to leave. It was leave or die. And she didn’t blame him for choosing life.

  She’d just thought he’d come back one day. She’d waited for him.

  But then her change had happened and her gift had come along with it. She was not only a shifter, but she was a shifter who could heal any pain and all wounds with just the touch of her hand. And it had explained everything, even the things she didn’t want it to explain.

  She’d had her first shift and it had brought down the horrible, heart-ending realization that Griff had never loved her. He’d loved the nascent beginnings of her gift. Every night she had come to him, given him her love, really she’d been healing him, soothing him with her gift. And it was that that he’d loved. Not the girl. Neither of them had realized it at the time, but it had all been an illusion, thanks to this awful curse of a gift. She was the one person who everyone wanted around, and she was the one person who could never be loved for who she was. She was only loved because her gift brought that out in people. She was simply loved for what she was.

  Alayna had thought she’d made her peace with it. But then all this mess with the fire in Herta, getting caught up with the Earthlings, healing the bear shifter called Kain. And then she’d found herself on Earth and mercy of all mercies, in the same damn place as Griff.

  She’d had no idea what to do. Because one look at his face, his beloved, serious face, at that wrinkle between his eyebrows, and God, she knew that not only was she not over him, there was no getting over him. Even this new man, this grown man, with ink on his arms and full beard had her dumb heart trembling the same way the teenage version of him had. It was beyond frustrating for a proud woman like Alayna. The younger version of herself had given her heart to Griff without hesitation, she hadn’t had the experience to advise herself against it.

  But now she had a hell of a lot of experience. Too much. So she’d stayed in her fox form for the last two weeks, and kept her distance from the family. And especially from Griff. She could tell, plain as day, that something was very wrong with him. And his pain almost called her out of her fox form. Because pain didn’t scare her anymore. She could heal that, no question. Just a touch of her hands and she could have taken it from him. But she wasn’t sure her heart could stand it.

  What if he looked at her as if she didn’t mean anything to him? Or worse, what if he looked at her as if he loved her, the way he used to?

  She knew she could never again trust his feelings for her. Not now that she knew what she knew.

  The little fox looked around her now, though, and no one was around. Her senses weren’t quite as sharp as other shifters because of the manner in which she’d first shifted, but she didn’t think anyone was around. So finally, about three days overdue, she shifted back to her human form and immediately waded into the river.

  Her hair, ugh, her hair. It fell a good four inches past her ass and was so heavy with the water from the creek that she dreamed of chopping it all off. She would have, but these days it was the only thing that reminded her of the girl she’d been when she had loved Griff. She already knew she couldn’t have him, but maybe she could keep this small reminder.

  Times like these it was just annoying, though. She squeezed out the rose gold locks and all wet in the sunlight her hair looked almost pink. She tossed it behind her and waded shallower. She started scrubbing down her skin.

  And that’s when she heard it. Feet in the water. She whirled and her heart leapt right off a cliff.

  Damn! She’d thought she was alone! That’s why she came all these miles away from the house to shift.

  Griff was sprinting toward her. She took one step back and then another. He stumbled in the water and his eyes could have dissolved her into thin air at twenty paces. He skidded through water and then he was at her feet. The water parted around him and rushed along like he was just another rock in the water.

  Before she could stop him, tears streaming down his face, this grown-man version of the boy she’d loved lunged forward. He grabbed her stark naked body and slammed her into him. His full beard scraped across her hip and he pressed his face into her stomach. His arms were banded around her, skin on skin, his palms rough as he pinned her against him.

  She knew she shouldn’t be touching him. She should have better self-preservation instincts by now, after all this time alone. But it was all that time alone that had her digging her fingers into his shoulders, tracing his hair, his perfect ears, still exactly the same as they had been. In that one, shocking moment of seeing him again, everything fell away. Any plan she might have been forming on how to stay sane around Griff was just absolutely gone. The egg was cracked. The peanut was shelled. Her heart was out of the cage.

  She tried to bend down to press against him, to hold him as he was holding her, but his arms banded around her waist even harder and she found she was stuck, standing there over him while his tears wetted her belly.

  It was then that electric buzz in her ears quieted just a touch and the familiar rushing feeling came over her, the one she fully understood now. She could feel everywhere his skin touched hers and she felt herself involuntarily releasing his pain. Alayna’s abilities kicked in and she was healing him, extracting an emotio
nal poison that had been killing him. The way she did anytime she ever touched someone skin on skin. His pain dissolved into the air around them.

  She ignored her heart banging on the door of her chest and frowned. She’d removed an incredibly large amount of pain already from the man who was still on his knees below her and still there was more. There was so much more. Oceans of it. She’d only encountered this a few times and generally she refused to heal it. This was fresh grief. And as awful as it was to experience, it served a purpose. Healing it with her hands was a bad idea.

  But she couldn’t stop. Because this was Griff and he was shuddering and gripping her as his pain left his body. As she pulled it out of him like she would a splinter.

  Alayna wiggled down and met him knee for knee in the water. He opened his eyes and more tears spilled free. His face was pulled with pain, but an astonished laugh burst free from him. It was a deeper laugh than she remembered.

  “Griff,” she whispered, pressing her hands to his face. “What happened? You’re so sad. You’re impossibly sad.”

  “I’m sad?” he asked in a voice that sent hot and cold to her fingertips. “I have no idea what the hell I am. You’re alive. Alayna, baby.” He pushed into her face, gripping her waist and bringing his mouth to her lips in exactly the way she remembered, the way he always did.

  Baby.

  The word was like bitter medicine on an open cut. It healed and stung at the same time.

  “You’re alive,” he repeated, but didn’t have it in him to move even a centimeter from her lips, so he said it right into her mouth.

  “Me?” Her thoughts were muzzy and sharp at the same time. She lost herself in his mouth for just a breath before she twisted away. “Me? Of course I’m alive. I’m right here.”

  His hands did a slow slide up her naked back and then they went to her opposite hip and shoulder, fully banding her against him.