A Mate For Phoenix (Forbidden Shifters Series Book 4) Read online

  He said nothing and the words hung in the car. Ida put the windows down, even though it was chilly, with the hopes that the wind would whip her words -and the moment- away.

  No such luck.

  Thankfully, he didn’t comment on her assessment of him, but it didn’t matter, because her brain worked that sentence over and over in her own head.

  I think you’re perfect.

  It was true, she finally concluded, when she finally got off the highway and started taking back roads through the winding, evergreen lined mountains. She did think he was perfect. She looked at this man and she thought of him as exactly perfect for her.

  It was almost a relief to admit it to herself. Because if she thought he was perfect then it was only a matter of time before he revealed a flaw.

  Come on, flaws! She cheered inwardly. Gimme something terrible I can cling to so that it’ll be easier when he leaves.

  “So, Phoenix,” Ida said, clearing her throat. “What do you think of the gender pay gap?”

  Please say that women are less competent and deserve to be paid less, she internally pleaded with him. Make it easy not to love you.

  “What’s that?”

  “Oh.” She gave him a brief explainer on how much less women made compared to their male counterparts.

  He screwed up his face. “That’s ridiculous. And unfair. Dawn is just as competent as Orion or I am. Plus females have to bear children. They should be paid more based on that fact alone.”

  “Dammit,” she swore under her breath. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. “Here we are!” she chirped, covering her feelings as they pulled into the campsite she’d reserved and set up for the night.

  Phoenix looked around in surprise when she shut off the car. “But we’re in the woods.”

  “Yup.”

  “Where’s the dwelling?” He slid out the passenger’s seat, leaving his crutches behind, and turned a circle where he stood, peering around the campsite. “Don’t you need a dwelling?”

  “We’re camping!”

  She’d kind of expected him to be psyched. I mean, didn’t camping seem like a human pursuit that he might actually enjoy?

  He arched an eyebrow at her. “You mean we’re going to light an ill advised fire, make too much noise, ruin the sanctity of the forest, and then leave beer cans when we leave?”

  She laughed. “Ah. I didn’t think about the fact that you’ve probably had your fair share of interactions with campers. And no, we’re not going to do any of those things. We’re going to be respectful campers.” She put her hands on her hips bossily. “I thought for sure you’d be excited that I wouldn’t be keeping you boxed into some manmade room somewhere during the full moon.”

  He bobbed his head from one side to the other. “I guess that’s something.”

  “And look!” She took his hand and tugged him to the far edge of campsite where a thin, waist-high creek raced along. “Cold water.” She took him by the shoulders and pointed him toward another end of the creek where curlicues of steam misted off into the late afternoon shadows. “And hot water. Just like Dr. Durant thought would work.”

  “Huh,” he sniffed the air and wandered over to join her. “A natural hot spring. Good idea.”

  She put her hands on her hips again and squinted at him. “I really can’t tell if you’re humoring me or not.”

  He shrugged. “Ida, humans who camp are pretty much the most annoying group of people on earth to me. They wear those stupid clothes and hike with sticks and cook horrible smelling food over unnecessary fires. And they sleep in those stupid looking bubble things.”

  “Tents!” Ida gushed, refusing to be deflated by his mood. She knew she’d win him over in the end. “I brought one! You know what? I think I’ll set it up now so that we don’t run out of daylight.” She checked her phone. “We have about three hours until moonrise.”

  He made a noncommittal noise, and she could feel just how much he was dreading all of this. But bless his heart, he didn’t say a word to discourage her.

  He silently helped her set up the tent, keeping his feelings limited to the dark looks he sent at the complicated system of tent poles. He quietly ate the huge sandwich she’d packed for him and drank the water she’d brought as well. He scouted the perimeter of their campsite, deemed it safe enough. It wasn’t until she started unloading all the blankets and pillows from the back of her car that he finally smiled. Apparently he thought that her version of sleeping out was kind of cute. She’d take it.

  Half an hour until moonrise, Ida took her cue from his antsy, agitated hands and dancing feet and started stripping her clothes off.

  “What are you doing?” he asked her in a low voice.

  “You can’t tell?” she asked, looking at him over her shoulder as she stepped out of her dress, folded it up neatly and put it in the back seat of the car. Next came her bra and then her underwear. Last of all, she pulled a couple big fluffy towels out of the back seat and tossed them over her shoulder. She sauntered over to the edge of the hot spring and hung the towel over a trusty branch.

  His eyes followed her every tiny movement but Ida purposefully ignored him. She dipped one toe into the hot, clear water and made an intentionally provocative sound in the back of her throat.

  “Ida,” he said, making her jump with how close he unexpectedly was to her at that moment. “What exactly are you doing?”

  Seducing you, driving you wild, hopefully making it so you’ll never forget me. “Dr. Durant said that I should do my best to distract you.” She said it with a straight face, stepping into the hot spring. “I’ve found no better source of distraction for you than me being naked.”

  She didn’t turn to see if her tactic was effective because she didn’t have to. Approximately four seconds after she’d sat herself down in the hot pool of water, he was right there next to her, naked as a jaybird, his clothes in a pile on the ground. She bit her lip to keep from laughing while her heart declared victory.

  He slid into the hot water, right up next to her, not hesitating in pulling her close. Her legs slipped perpendicular over his lap and they both tipped their heads back, watching the sky darken and the leaves tremble in the light breeze, the air chilling every place that wasn’t under the water.

  “I have a relationship rule,” he said in a low, quasi-grumpy voice.

  “Shoot.”

  “No saying Dr. Durant’s name while you’re naked.”

  Ida laughed, her eyes still on the sky. She just loved how irritated it had made him that she’d obviously found Jackson Durant to be attractive.

  “There’s so many trees obscuring the sky,” she noted. “How will we know when the moon rises?”

  He chuckled humorlessly. “Oh, I’ll know.”

  “Without even seeing it?”

  He pulled his head back from where he’d been resting it against her hair and gave her a droll look. “I’ll know the second the moon rises. In every molecule of my body.”

  “It hurts?” she asked quietly.

  “Not quite,” he sighed. “It just feels bad. Like every part of me wants to go in a different direction. My heart races. My mouth goes dry. I feel panicked and just… wrong. It goes on for hours.”

  “What’s a shift like on a regular full moon for you? How does it normally feel?”

  “Good,” he answered immediately. “Different than for most shifters, I think, because they’re going from their human forms into their animal forms and generally, when I shift on a full moon I’m going from wolf to human. It’s whatever your non-dominant form is that you’re compelled to shift into.”

  “What’s it like?”

  “It feels energizing and tingly and clear. Everything comes into sharp focus. I feel my tongue in my mouth, my hands stretching, my muscles pulled and changing. It just feels good.”

  “It sounds kind of sexy,” she murmured, blushing a little bit. “Orgasmic.”

  “I’ve never really thought about it that way before,” he said after a minute
. “But then again, before I met you I wasn’t spending very much time thinking about orgasms.”

  He nuzzled against her neck and she was more than pleased to feel his thick erection against the back of her leg. She thought her plan of distraction was going quite well indeed.

  “The moon’s almost up,” she told him, kissing his neck just below the ear, relishing the rasp of his stubble against her lips. “Does it feel bad yet?”

  She deliberately let herself float forward and planted her ass on top of his erection, the heat from the water nothing compared to the burning imprint his cock made against her skin. His hips started to move below her.

  “Not yet,” he murmured.

  Ida framed his face with her hands and just looked at him through the blue of the evening light. It hit her right then how much of a mistake this was, to trap herself alone with him in the woods. With the moonlight and the fresh-damp smell of soil, the sounds of the creek, a big warm bed waiting for them in the tent. And him. His gigantic, gorgeous, dangerous body spread out beneath her, his head tipped back, water droplets on his eyelashes, hers for the taking.

  She was going to fall in love with him tonight. She just knew it.

  How could she have been so naive? She should have taken him to a crappy motel near a truck stop. Somewhere gross and unsexy. Instead, she’d practically put a rose between his teeth and tied a Christmas ribbon around his dick. She’d never stood a chance.

  His blunt erection pressed into the softness of her ass as he watched her mouth, his hands at her hips, obviously waiting for her to make the next move. And that sort of killed her too. As zealous and rude as he was, he was so freaking respectful of her, never wanting to push her too far.

  What’s done was done, she decided. She’d made her bed. She’d dragged this sexy-ass man out into the sexy-ass woods and all of it was for his own good. So she wasn’t going to balk now, not simply because she’d realized, once again, how close she was to loving him. No. Her job tonight wasn’t to cower in fear. It was to make this even a little bit easier for him.

  She put them both out of their misery. Leaning forward, Ida sipped from Phoenix’s mouth for just a moment before she leaned back. His eyes already closed into the kiss, he leaned forward mindlessly, chasing her back.

  She didn’t let him catch her. This was part of the distraction. Keep him on edge, keep him focused on her.

  His eyes fluttered open when the kiss didn’t continue. Ida leaned forward again, poised her mouth just a half an inch from his and pressed slightly down with her hips against his erection. He grunted and again tried to catch her lips. She didn’t let him.

  His hands tightened on her waist and she removed them. Set each one on the rocks beside him, stretching out his lovely, impressive wingspan. Spreading him out for her. He was so beautiful it hurt. But she refused to think about that now.

  Again she moved her butt against his dick and leaned forward, breathing his air. He lunged, trying to catch her in a kiss and she danced back, a smile on her face. His eyes were half lidded and mildly frustrated, needing her. She was frustrating herself as much as she was frustrating him, but she didn’t stop playing the game.

  She licked her lips and his eyes followed the movement. He licked his own lips and again tried to catch her in a kiss. She danced back from him, this time off his lap and stood rib-deep in the hot spring. If he’d moved his arms, he’d have been able to catch her, but he seemed to understand the game without her having to explain it. His hands clenched into fists as his arms stayed pinned open.

  Ida couldn’t believe the look on his face. Had any man on earth ever looked at another woman like that? Like he wanted to do primal, unspeakable things to her. She thought of the other men she’d dated. Hair gel and taxes and dental cleanings and tailored shirts and careful workouts at the gym. There was nothing wrong with those things -in fact, they were all things she was planning on teaching Phoenix- but she saw now, with stunning clarity, that they had no place whatsoever in the bedroom.

  Because Phoenix seemed utterly devoid of his human side right now. His teeth were bright and glinting in the moonlight, his eyes feral, his nostrils flaring. He looked like an animal that was as likely to drink her blood as he was to fuck her. Maybe both at once. Shit, why did part of her totally want that? She wasn’t into cavemen. She didn’t want to be dominated and mastered. But she wondered now if he knew how to have sex in any other way.

  He still only knew of the that one position in which to have sex and they hadn’t watched any other porn together beyond that first time. She got a flash now of what he’d be like, rutting behind a woman, feral, direct, guided purely by instinct and primal desire.

  Yeah. She really wanted that.

  She didn’t want the slightly awkward missionary of her past, the occasional -tentative- hair pull that she and her former partners had fully gamed out pre-sex. She wanted Phoenix to unleash himself on her. She wanted to experience him. Fully.

  Ida bit her lip as she stared at the man in front of her. Her hands pressing against her cheeks for a moment before she slid them down to her neck, and then to her breasts. Tentatively, watching his riveted gaze, she weighed her breasts in her hands.

  His nostrils flared and she could see him disturbing the water with the slight thrust of his hips, trying to find a comfortable position, she was sure to no avail.

  She pulled gently at her own nipples, a moan breaking through her lips without permission.

  He looked ready to drink her down like the freshest water.

  She dragged one of her hands down her belly, underneath the water line, her lip still caught in her teeth. His eyes darted from the hand over her breast and the hand that had disappeared under the water, obviously conflicted about where he wanted to watch the most. But when Ida found the promised land, and her head dropped back in pleasure at the feel of her own heat, Phoenix was no longer conflicted. And he was apparently no longer playing keep away.

  Because there he was in front of her, water streaming down his chest, his hands grabbing her hips and picking her up so that her legs had no choice but to twine around his waist. He stepped forward until she was pressed up against the far side of the hot spring. Her back grinding into the soft bank of the river, an unexpected stone or two, but she didn’t care. Because she was opened to him, her fingers tugging at his hair, his hands trapping her to his body and then -yes- his mouth took ruthlessly from hers.

  In the past he’d always matched her kisses, her pace. This was not like that. He drank from her mouth, his tongue pushing everywhere. His teeth tugged at her lips, her head tipped back and pinned for him. His body a hot band of muscle smashing her into the riverbank. She’d never in her life experienced being wanted like this before. It was alarming and thrilling and she wanted more of it. She wanted to lose herself in it. Drown in it if she could.

  She clawed at his shoulders, smashing her wetness against his lower belly. She didn’t have an inch to move in any direction, but when she started wiggling, his pressure against her eased and she suddenly found herself sliding along his slick body.

  His cock, which had been pressing into the cheek of her ass, was suddenly pinned between them, Ida’s pussy pressing flat against it. She cried out and he made a low, growling sound, his eyes finding hers, dark lightning spearing through him.

  He opened his mouth to say something -something that would wreck her, she was sure- but then he stiffened, his eyes slamming shut and every muscle in his body going completely rigid.

  For a moment, she thought he might be coming, but then he released her gently and stepped away, his palms pressed hard against his temples, his body doubling over and Ida realized that this wasn’t pleasure. No. This was pain.

  The moon had risen.

  ***

  Phoenix had never hated the moon more than he did at that particular moment. Right at the first touch of Ida’s perfect pussy to his dick, the useless moon had to rise and tear him away from her.

  He felt like every part of
his body was strung so tight he might shatter. He wanted to scream, to black out, to run a hundred miles in one go. Short grunts were leaving his lips and the spring water at his waist started to seem cloyingly, smotheringly hot. Meanwhile the chilly autumn air against his face and chest was piercingly cold. He grunted again and realized his body was screaming for the air that he seemed incapable of providing it. His chest needed to rise. It needed to fall. But how could it when he was trapped in time like this?

  He stiffened against the warm hands that landed on his shoulders. God. Ida was here. Witnessing this. He’d thought that having her around would make this easier, but now he realized how foolish a thought that had been. He didn’t want her to see him like this. He was weak and out of control, whereas just moments before, he’d been strong and hot and about to pleasure her beyond anything she’d felt before.

  The loss of that energy was almost as debilitating as the zinging discomfort his inability to shift was wringing out of him.

  But she didn’t leave him alone. Instead she flattened her soft, precious self against his back, her chin tucking over his shoulder. “Breathe, baby. You have to breathe.”

  She took slow, long breaths in his ear, asking him to breathe with her. He did as she asked. Deep breath in, open-mouthed breaths out. They did this for a long time, with her clinging to his back, her hands moving up and down his arms until his palms fell from his temples.

  She was gone for a moment and then suddenly, there was a water bottle at his lips, the cool water heaven as it slid down his throat. Next, she was leading him back down into the water, his freezing cold chest grateful for the heat.

  She sat behind him, guiding him so that he reclined against her soft body like she was an armchair. Her hands, surprisingly strong, kneaded at his shoulders and neck, even rubbing his ears and jaw and scalp.

  She moved down to his biceps next, one arm and then the next. His forearms and wrists and hands. When he thought she must be exhausted, the massage had been going on for so long, she tucked him back into the river bank, the grass tickling at his neck, and started in on his chest.